Sometimes it’s hard for me to believe how fast the years are rolling by. This time of year comes around and I am a bit stupefied. My brain overflows with all the things I want to resolve to do in the coming year. I am awash with feelings that I wish I had done better the past year. I think intently and rack my brain about how I could do and be better in the days ahead.
Honestly, much of me gets tired with this run around in my head. These are just a handful of some of the things I say to myself: I want to be more present with the kids. I want to lose weight. I want to finish what I start. I want to procrastinate less. I want to keep the house clean. I want to exercise more. I want to achieve big things with my business. I want to be stronger. I want to make an editorial calendar and stick to it. I want to make the bed every morning. I want to be a better mother. I want to be a better friend. Does this list sound familiar? Over the years, I have had resolutions with respect to all these things, to some success, but more commonly to failure.
I’ve been thinking about how I am always in a constant state of how can I be better or more than I am. It doesn’t necessarily have to do with the turn of the year. I obsess over this idea every day. I think it is a good goal to want to be better and to do better, to want to improve. Yes, it is good. But I think underlying all my desires to be a better person is a very real feeling and belief that I am just not enough. I am not good enough, fast enough, loyal enough, organized enough, interesting enough, creative enough, healthy enough, hard working enough, loving enough. And in truth, this is the fundamental and flipping unhealthy problem.
If you try to build a tower atop a flimsy foundation, is it any wonder that it comes tumbling down. The more I rant and rave about myself, hurl criticisms my way, insult and generally beat up myself, the weaker my foundation is when I start trying to build again. It shouldn’t be surprising that some of my aspirations and goals come tumbling down.
What would happen this year if I allowed myself to think and believe that I am enough? Honestly, what I want to believe whole-heartedly is that I am more than enough.
So much more, in fact, that I just don’t need to worry so much. I can let go. I can be easy. I can relax. I can enjoy. More than “enough,” I want to know, feel, BELIEVE in bountiful. I am bountiful. I am ample. I am abundant just as I am.
I am a good mother. I am a good friend. I am a hard worker. I am energetic. I accomplish a lot in my days. I am creative. I am a talented artist. I am a beautiful person both internally and externally. I always do my best. I make mistakes and I learn from them. What if I hurled compliments my way instead of insults?
If I put my whole-hearted energy into believing these things, believe that I overflow, that I pour forth bounty and goodness just the way I am.
I will be sharing my journey to believe in bountiful this year (#believeinbountiful). I have a couple ideas about how to approach my life through a different lens that I will start to share with you, but I could use some help. Do you guys have ideas? thoughts or practices that could help me? Please, please share!
Happy New Year! Here’s hoping you believe in bountiful too!