One of My Favorite Things

I had just settled down to watch Sound of Music with my kiddos - a cozy Friday night.  Just as My Favorite Things began, my hubby came in and handed me something from the mail.  Oooh, real mail!  How serendipitous!  Everyone knows how nice it is to get a non-bill in the mail, but around this house those usually come in the form of birthday party invites for the kids, and rarely those anymore.  Where has all the good paper gone?  I *hate* evite.

What could it be?  The envelope, thick and heavy, addressed beautifully to me from Michigan, gave me a rush of giddiness.  I opened it to find a dear, hand-written letter - not a card, but a true, warm, multi-paged letter, written on charming paper in graceful handwriting from my Aunt.  More so, she wrote to compliment my blog!  Truly, there could be no better blog comment (though I like those too!).  Filled with touching details about common interests and experiences, it warmed my heart.   Her presence, which I felt through her words, triggered long-ago memories of a special time with my aunt when I was young.   What a pleasant reminder that hand-written is an awful lot like hand-made-- so meaningful, especially when done with time and care and with heart-felt sentiment.

So, thanks so much to my lovely Aunt who delivered to me, today, one of My Favorite Things.  May your weekend be full of a few of your favorite things.  I'm off to write a real letter in return.

"What nobody tells people who are beginners"

I write this quick little post to share a quote from an Ira Glass you tube video which just flitted through my twitter feed.  I hope you find it reassuring, as I know I will, in times of self-criticism and doubt and especially during those dreaded bouts of the “not-good-enoughs” that I just discussed in my last post.  I include a photo of my last piece because I just can't stand a post with no photos. Here's the quote:

“What nobody tells people who are beginners — and I really wish someone had told this to me . . . is that all of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap. For the first couple years you make stuff, and it’s just not that good. It’s trying to be good, it has potential, but it’s not. But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you. A lot of people never get past this phase. They quit. Most people I know who do interesting, creative work went through years of this. We know our work doesn’t have this special thing that we want it to have. We all go through this. And if you are just starting out or you are still in this phase, you gotta know it’s normal and the most important thing you can do is do a lot of work. Put yourself on a deadline so that every week you will finish one story. It is only by going through a volume of work that you will close that gap, and your work will be as good as your ambitions. And I took longer to figure out how to do this than anyone I’ve ever met. It’s gonna take awhile. It’s normal to take awhile. You’ve just gotta fight your way through.”

The other thing Ira says in the video that I love is "you will be fierce, you will be a warrior." Ira motivates and reassures me for the practice and process I have in front of me. 

Here is the link for the You Tube video again - love Ira Glass!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BI23U7U2aUY

Perfectionism - the good, the bad and the ugly

As absolutely lovely as my time at the Makerie was, I experienced something the last day of that weekend that I find very difficult to talk about, which usually means that I should.  This has nothing to do with my spectacular product photography teacher, Alessandra, whose class I attended that day, but has everything to do with me.  I learned an amazing amount about my camera and how to set up good product shots.  This post is not about the class, however, but more about what I felt during it.  I include the product photos here to break up the text of this post a bit and to visually display my path and progress in the class.

That morning, upon arrival, I found myself in awe of the creative talent that surrounded me.  My thoughts spiraled downward:  how beautiful . . . wow! what an amazing aesthetic . . . she will be so successful . . . I'll never match up to that . . . I'm not that talented . . . I am just not good enough at what I do. I plunged into a frustrating morning of self-criticism and doubt which, don't tell anyone, even led to a little bit of crying in the bathroom.

Before starting this blog, creating always fell to the bottom of my list (or off of it).  I used that as an excuse for not achieving everything I wanted to -- I just don't spend enough time on it, I thought.  Now that I've fully acknowledged my desire for a career in the handmade industry, I assess my work more critically.  I've taken huge leap and thrust myself fully into the handmade/design blog sphere.  I now risk failure at the thing that matters the most to me.  I feel powerfully precarious and exposed.

So what spawns these short but dreadful bouts of the "not good enoughs?"   Does it lie solely in the hands of habitual comparison?  What initiates the questions "Do I measure up?," "Am I good enough?"   Two days later, I received an unexpected answer.  

I attended a lecture on perfectionism (originally scheduled with my daughter in mind.) A perfectionist -- I have not labeled myself this for many years, but I used to.  My perfectionism disintegrated with the advent of children, or so I thought.  I settle for less than my best in many aspects of my life.  No one could call me a perfectionist now.  But, Dr. Linda Silverman's discussion of the pathologized form of perfectionism smacked me over the head with its aptness:

:: a constant need for approval

:: fear of what others think

:: constant anxiety that one will make a mistake

:: fear of failure

:: overwhelming fear that one will never be good enough
:: measurement of one's worth in terms of productivity and accomplishment 

Oh yeah, I remember.  I haven't seen this list so explicitly laid out in a long time.  Perfectionism no longer paralyzes me the way it used to, but these traits surface often and bog me down.  Seeing the "not-good-enoughs" nestled right in the middle of these qualities feels oddly reassuring.  Somehow perfectionism as a recognized series of traits, feels manageable, surmountable even.

Something entirely new about perfectionism surfaced at this talk-- something that nearly bowled me over.

Dr. Silverman said that:

:: BEAUTY is a perfectionistic desire ( I had never heard this before)
:: perfectionists have a powerful drive and motivation to achieve pleasing aesthetics in everything they do.

It is?? We do?? This explains a lot.

Dr. Silverman calls perfectionism an energy (energy, I like calling it that) that can be used either positively (whew- good!)  or negatively.  This energy can "cause paralysis and underachievement if the person feels incapable of meeting standards set by the self or others."  On the flip side, used positively, perfectionism can "propel an individual toward unparalleled greatness." ( I feel like a super hero!)  Perfectionism "fuels passion that can lead to extraordinary creative achievement!" (What?? Yes!!) 

So maybe perfectionism is not so bad if it fuels our passion, our drive.   If we can put aside the "not-good-enoughs," if we can use our perfectionistic energy positively, focusing on process not product, it seems as though the achievement part will come naturally.  This means leaving comparison behind to pursue and embrace our perfectionistic drive to be our best selves and do our best work.  Maybe thinking of it this way, and then recognizing negative perfectionistic energy when it does surface, will make for fewer mornings like I had in the photography class and make for more moments of joy found in each and every step along the way.

Here are Dr. Silverman's suggestions for how to tame the perfectionist beast:

:: set priorities - where can we settle for less than our best?

:: appreciate what we have accomplished

:: reframe mistakes as learning experiences

:: focus on process not product (good for tutorials :))

:: don't punish oneself for failing

:: go ahead and tackle the project, don't procrastinate

:: its okay to erase, start over or revise

Okay, well, long post - thanks for hanging in there with me to the end.  I am thinking that the love of beauty runs prevalent among you. Lurking perfectionists and others, please comment.  Perfectionist that I am, I'm sure to be looking for external approval from you all and am certain to feel extreme anxiety that this post was a huge flop!

DIY Upcycled Easter Egg Bunting

Recently, I've been making an effort to experiment with materials I have on hand.   I've been playing around with paperboard - mainly because I drink a LOT of soda water and go through a TON of paperboard boxes.  I started by creating an illustration using paperboard cutouts and fabric.  I had so much fun with it, there will certainly be more of those to come.   It is truly amazing what you can do with so little - I love that.  Working on the illustrations inspired me to create these little egg cutouts - fun!

Create this sweet little Easter DIY bunting using recycled paperboard and bits of fabric and trim.  It's very easy to do and looks super cute.  I guest blogged the tutorial over at Poppytalk.  I'm so honored and excited to be posting there.  Have fun creating your own!  Or, if you want to buy this one, you can.Look at how much fun it is to pick out each egg's design - endless variation. Go check out the how-to at Poppytalk - you'll be glad you did.

Community and Letting Go

Oh my  - where do I start?  The Makerie was a ball!  Ali did such a wonderful job of making the entire experience welcoming in every way.  It was a fantastic weekend in large part because of the wonderful teachers and great classes, but what stood out the most to me was the people, people, people - warm, giving, loving, thoughtful, creative, sweet people!!!  

I needed a shot of that  - a shot of vital community.  Nothing can replace it, really.  I work from home all by my lonesome self.  There are days when my creative output and interaction is solely limited to checking-in on the bloggy world and busy twittersphere.  Connecting with other creative folks via twitter and blogs is great, but it really doesn't compare to being with someone in person.  Sharing days together with like-minded people fills you up.  You enjoy what they enjoy, see what they see, make while they make.  Creativity expands when you are surrounded by others' creating too.  I truly believe you begin to make within a collective, creative, energy.  Can't I bring some of those folks home with me?

Real and inspiring conversation beats a 140 character tweet every day of the week.  It was wonderful talking with and getting to know Lizzy House, Stefanie Japel, Alessandra Cave, Jenny Doh, Karyn, Katherine, Kara, Gina, Sara, Beth, the Fancy Tiger gals and more.  We have even formed a crafty, new group that is going to get together on a regular basis with the sole purpose of making - yay!  More on that later, for sure.

Here are some explorations from my knitting embellishments class with Stefanie Japel (except for the tree - that was done by a crafty undercover group the first night).  My friend Gina did the sweet pink and green crown.  Stefanie was fabulous and came loaded with all sorts of yarny goodness.  I learned how to do some cool things, including make different kinds of flowers and leaves.  We discovered a fun color enhancement to my latest sweater design, too.

More important than the techniques though, Stefanie reminded me of the importance of letting go and not having a plan.  Sometimes, okay, okay, a LOT of times, I get a pretty rigid idea of what I want to make. I forget that there needs to be room for development and change.  Ah,  flexibility, you are so elusive to me . . . I forget how much creativity is sparked when we let go of expectations and just play.  Amy Krauss Rosenthal spoke of the same thing during the opening ceremony - how some of our most creative ideas occur when we don't have a plan - accidental happenstance. This is hard for me, but I'm going to work on it . . .  the Makerie was a great reminder.

I'll post soon about the product photography class.  Ohh I picked up some good skills there! - more to come.

A Weekend of Her Own

I've been busy getting ready for an exciting weekend coming up.  I'm heading to a special creative retreat that is being hosted right here in Boulder called the Makerie.   I am so thrilled to have the opportunity to dive into an indulgent weekend that is all about exploring my own creativity.  An entire weekend of special time set aside to do just what I love!  I know that founder Ali DeJohn will go out of her way to make it warm and welcoming in all the best ways.

I'm so thrilled about the classes I'm taking.  My first class, Knitted Embellishments, is with the talented Stefanie Japel, who wrote these wonderful knitting books. I particularly love this one:

Her class is the one for which I have been busy preparing.  I must have a finished object on which to add knitted embellishments. This means I must finish knitting and BLOCK something now! Oh dear, my new toy, the blocking board, isn't here yet.  Well, my mother came to the rescue.  I'm going to post her extra-special, super-fast blocking technique separately.  I'm also taking Product Photography with the amazing Alessandra Cave - so excited for that.  But, doh! I need product to take photos of - this means more blocking to do tonight. Nothing like a deadline to push you to finish things off.  Can't wait to share the results of my learning weekend. Hopefully, I'll come away with  gorgeous shots of my work, excellent new photography skills and some cool  knitting tricks.

Other remarkably talented teachers will be attending, in addition to the lovely crafty folks like myself.  I'm so excited to meet Jessica Hernandez of Joyfolie Shoes. Could these shoes be any cuter?

AND,  I get to meet the talented Lizzy House - such beautiful fabric and quilt patterns.

On a separate note, I wanted to share a cool new site developed by my friend Molly at A Foothill Home Companion called Blarter.  It provides a venue for bloggers to barter their wares and skills in exchange for services or goods in return.  What a great idea.  If you make something or have something to barter and are looking for something specific, go try it.  Ask for a cool embroidery pattern in exchange for those odd three balls of yarn you are never going to use!  Or, exchange an extra stash of fabric for an unused Oliver + S sewing pattern.  Think of the possibilities. . .  I think I'm going to barter this sweet little beret for some vinatge trim and notions.
Do you think it will work?  I'll let you know how it goes.

Thanks for reading!
Anne Weil

A Blocking Block

Oh dear, this is a sweater that I made for a friend's baby, but by the time I got it done and blocked, the baby had already outgrown it.  darn. 

But all is not lost, I have an adorable little nephew who has just gotten to the right size to take full advantage of it.  So off it goes.  He is the one for whom I made the sweet elephant gift-bag.

This Shawl Collar Sweater is a Debbie Bliss pattern from Essential Baby.  I added the color detail at the cuffs and collar - I love it in this deep chocolate brown - yum.  You can find the pattern on Ravelry here.

So, why is blocking such a hurdle from me? really, why?  I'm not quite sure.  At this point, I have a stack of no less than six projects to be blocked - some of which have been sitting there for almost a year!  It may be that it is simply a big transition for me to go from that meditative state of knitting that I love to the process of finding the pins, gathering the towels, cleaning out the laundry tub,  figuring out where I can lay it out without it being trampled, etc.  I'm not good with transitions.  

Hopefully, I've found something that will make blocking a happier and easier adventure for me.  I just ordered this, thanks to this post by Jennifer Casa and apparently by Posie Gets Cozy too.   Alicia Paulson suggests simply spraying with water, which I've never tried before - I've always given my pieces a bath.   I'll let you know how it goes.  I think I'm going to have a blocking challenge after the board arrives.  Maybe I can get six projects blocked and packaged up in six days - anyone want to join me?

Happy Weekend!