Exposing Myself

I just announced this blog to my family and long-time friends –a very interesting exercise.  I’ve been blogging since December 2010 and it started to dawn on me that most of the people who know me best or the longest had no idea what I was up to.   To let friends and family in on my endeavor was surprisingly scary and something  to which I was extraordinarily resistant.   With all this trepidation, I had to ask myself, why? Was it just a question putting myself out there?  But, I do it everyday on this blog and don’t think twice about it. 
I’ve been pondering this seriously for the last few days, I think it comes down to the fact that for many years I haven’t shown the real me.  I mean yes, I’m a wear-it-on-your-sleeve emotional being, so people know my personality very well.  But to know that I take craft, making, knitting and design so seriously – my longtime friends had no idea. 
So why don’t my friends and family know this is so important to me? I think it comes from my fear that it may not be important to them.  I’m afraid that people will find my work trivial and domestic – wondering why I would waste my talents doing that.  But, I realize, they won’t know how this work satisfies and inspires me if I’ve never told them.  The truth is I’m proud of what I’ve accomplished – I should share it.
This conflict returns to the BIG ISSUE about how we value handmade and making things in our society.  I talked about this in my original post.  In my life, it became so vital to do the things that would make me appear “successful” to others.  But, how do we authentically claim success?  Mustn’t it be motivated from within each individual?  I feel more successful now than ever before because I take the time to do what I love.  It gives me that glow inside and the feeling that I’ve come home to myself.  At the same time, people do appreciate and celebrate it, including positive and loving responses from those very same friends and family I was so afraid to tell.   The sky’s the limit . . .

  1. Congratulations on telling your family and friends how you feel, I know it can be hard to do and i think you’ve hit the nail on the head there with why it is hard to do! Your work/crafting is marvelous. I hope your well :-)

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  3. anne

    Thanks Linda and Rebekah! The support I’ve received from the fishies has been critical in getting me rolling. I so appreciate your kind words!

  4. Monica

    Yay! Your work and your blog are beautiful…And your presence in the Fishbowl and with the Coconuts is so important to all of us! Glad you’re sharing it!

  5. tamara

    Hi there, I totally resonate with your reluctance to share with your family and friends what truly fires you up. My family was a lot like yours: academic achievement was everything, and as I’m getting into the swing of my adult years, I’m realising that for me the intuitive, the creative and the small moments of illumination are the payoff, not the external trappings… A hard habit to break when approval is tied to how others see you!
    I also blog, sporadically, though I’m aiming to allow myself to do so more regularly, as a ‘practice’ of valuing my own ideas.
    Here’s to your courage, and your fine example!

  6. Anonymous

    Hi Anne,
    I think that the exact words that ran through my head when I first read your blog was “I had no idea!” I am so glad you shared it and it makes me feel like I know you better now. In my memories, you were driven to achieve and miserable and tortured when you didn’t score 100%. 99% was a failure. I am thrilled that you have found the things that give you joy. The fact that you are celebrating those things and sharing them is admirable.

    Jena B.

  7. Monica

    It’s funny, I read your post a few days ago, and I had to take time and write a comment, could not do it immediately. Why?
    Because it feels you are speaking of me….I’m telling you it’s uncanny. I have only told a few select friends about my own blog, because, exactly like you said I was afraid that it would not be important to them. I was, and am, afraid of the eye-rolling when I say “knitting” and the giggles…”really??? Knitting???” and I don’t want anyone to ruin it for me.
    So I know exactly what you mean. It gives me such a good feeling, and it makes me hapy, it’s another side of me that few peple know, and even fewer appreciate.
    So kudos to you for the big reveal! It takes a lot to say, this is important to me, and it may not be what the majority out there believes makes a “successful” person, but you are successful on a much deeper level (if that makes sense). Keep creating, because a lot of us out there are amazed by what you’ve shared so far!

  8. anne

    Thanks all for your supportive and encouraging comments. I so appreciate your thoughtful responses. Here’s to bravery . . .

  9. I feel the same way. Even though my friends and family all know of my blog I always get somewhat embarrassed when someone I know tells me they read it. Strange, but I think it has something to do with staying anonymous, that the people “out there” are a lot less threatening and I value their opinion a lot less then that of my friends and family.

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